That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
