i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
