make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
