Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
