The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
