I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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