We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
