chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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