Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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