he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I look better un-naked...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
