Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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