He disabled his match.com account in front of me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
