if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
