He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
