He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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