Only a mothe r could love this liver
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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