I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize