The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
