Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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