All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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