my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
