Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
