Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
