he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
