her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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