I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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