She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
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I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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