Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
