i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
