im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
