ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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