dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
