areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
