; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize