do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
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I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
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It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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