I have demons in me.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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