We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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