Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Buhtt sex?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
