Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
