She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
