god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
