you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
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Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
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Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
They have beer where we have blood.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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