i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
