# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
