awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
