TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
