My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
