the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
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There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.