I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream