How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets