seriously i just wanna be friends
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
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Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?