If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Houston, we have a squirter
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible