You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
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I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
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hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.