ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My balls are so social today.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.