I accidentally had phone sex last night
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
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it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.