Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
