saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
only if we run a train.
done.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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