ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
