Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
