people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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