11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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