"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
