If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
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