i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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