Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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