I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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