32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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